Quotable Lack of Sanity

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"You Know Your a Dork When"
... You make yourself a +20 Towel of Cleanliness

...anyone else want one?

I need a hug

My dog has taken over my bed. The sad part is, he looks to damn cute there I don't have the heart to move him. My dress is almost done, I just have to cut out the netting for the underskirt and put in the zipper. Yay.

You know, I hear alot of strange things working in a sewing machine store. Like a 50something year old woman calling herself a "Thread Whore", and stupid people asking stupid things, like "Why can't I do embroidery on my machine" when the answer is "Because you didn't buy a machine with embroidery." and, of course, it is mostly old women who come in the shop, so some of them are bound to be senile... and taking computer classes... "Whats a SHIFT key?" ... oy

I am in dire need of amusement. Amuse me.

Meli, melster, is fantastic.


( Fallen Lamppost Pics. )

http://www.gamasutra.com/features/20050901/simons_01.shtml
...The cats are taking over the grandmothers

Swimming should be shot

My name is Fredrico bow down before my awesomeness!!!!

Yay for being back in an english speaking country, but I am dead tired and have alot of email to check so I will elaborate later.

Yay! People commented on the fic I wrote! I feel loved!
Meep, I was lurking on one of the FMA author's Livejournals and saw this:
If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought? Post your reply, then post this in your LJ and find out what my answer would be.
It amused me. I posted. Reply.

I'm sick as a flequing dog. Not much else, Kunnus was happy, go answer the goddamned window.
Quotes!
In ones and twos they gathered; bearing torches, pitchforks, and other implements they began to march.

The receptionist at St. Mungos was an experienced woman, throughout her thirty year career she had seen it all from Dark Wizard attacks to Dark Chockalott attacks nothing could surprise her . . . until now.

“What can I do for you?” she asked the assembled mob of angry people gathered in front of her desk.

“We’re here to visit one of the patents and we were wondering if you could direct us to her room” one of the larger and more dangerous looking men replied innocently.

“Now see here” she loomed over them, “while a patent is in St. Mungos then they are under our protection and if you wish to harm them then you will have to go through me first” her eyes flashed as she pulled out her wand.

“Oh” the man’s shoulders dropped and he turned to address the remainder of the mob, “looks like we’ll have to wait until they let Umbridge out before we can discuss our opinions about her teaching methods.”

Pitchforks dropped and torches were put out as a sense of disappointment fell over the crowd.

“Wait” the receptionist’s urgent cry halted their exit, “would that be the former Headmistress Umbridge?”

“Yes” the large man agreed, “we just wanted to talk with her about something.”

“Oh” she nodded, “in that case room 245.”

“Thank you” he smiled, “but why the sudden change of heart?”

“My niece goes to Hogwarts”

Elsewhere Harry was noticing how empty the streets seemed to be, “do you know where all the towns’ people are Becky?”

“I believe that they are at a farm implement convention” upon seeing Harry’s confused look she elaborated, “learning new and exciting ways of using pitchforks, bonfires, that sort of thing.”

“Oh” Harry nodded, “sounds boring, but remind me to go next year if it would make the people happy.”

“I’ll make a note of it” Becky smiled and hoped that they would come through with the pictures.
~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm lost. I'm going to find myself. If I return before I get back, please let me know.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I've gone nucking futz!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
You only need two tools in life: WD40 and Duct Tape.
If it moves and it shouldn't, use Duct Tape.
If it shouldn't move but does, use WD40.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The sentence below is false
The sentence above is true
~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy :Þ
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Why must 95% of people embrace the abomination that is (*shudder*) Windows? It is more crash-happy than my alcholic uncle driving home from the micro-brewery.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I've never made a mistake before;
once I thought I did,
but I was wrong
~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*
Writing a poem
In seventeen syllables
Is very diffi
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01100011 ThinkGeek gift-certificates on the wall, 0110011 ThinkGeek certificates. You take one down, pass it around (to me); 01100010 ThinkGeek gift-certificates!
~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Flame Alchemist to Lieutenant Colonel Riza Hawkeye - intelligence reports large group making its way towards you down Third Street. Let them wipe you out and I swear, you will be post-humously demoted back to Private. Over."
~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~
Al smiled and paid attention to his own meal; it didn't pay to antagonize Ed, lest he do something wildly dramatic which he really wouldn't regret later. Roy hadn't known that, at least not until Ed had transmuted his dress uniform into a light blue bikini and a fetching mini-skirt at his assessment last year. Apparently all memos addressed to the man now stated, 'to the attention of the Miniskirted Alchemist,' and Al had heard once Hawkeye had gotten the specifics of the mini-skirt plan she'd locked herself in the office with him and his other subordinates, emerging an hour later implacable as always while they trembled weakly behind her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ed looked at the proffered box of donuts and then at the two weirdly dressed women offering it to him.
"Are you sure you got the right person?" he asked.
The tall brown-haired woman blinked. "Meryl, is he really Vash the Stampede? He doesn't look like a wanted criminal..."
"Of course he is. He's got a red coat and blond hair."
"But he's just a kid... he's too short to be a criminal..."
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SHORT, SHORT LIKE A... OOMPH!"
Al laughed nervously, holding back a squirming (and spazzing) armful of Ed. "Maybe you've got the wrong series? The Trigun set is in Studio 61..."
"See, Meryl?"
"Oh, just shut up."
~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~**~
"It's snowing, you know. It's kind of stupid for you to give me your damned coat."

"Mmmm." Perhaps it was.

"I'm not giving it back."
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Will someone answer the window?
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Christ and Anti-Christ are off to see the wizard of oz (Meli)
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Its raining multi-colored man eating chocobo
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Bristling, Ed rounded on him. "What do you mean, 'if we can'? It's --" Ed advanced again, and was stopped by an arm in front of him.

"Remember, Fullmetal," Roy said. "Language."

"I am watching my fucking l --"

Severely, Roy frowned. "Don't say anything that you wouldn't want to hear from your brother's mouth," he said.

Ed's teeth clicked shut.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"The point," Ed gritted through his teeth, "is that I like what I usually wear."

"You only ever wear black," Winry complained, "it's boring. The only way anyone can tell whether you even changed since yesterday is to sniff you."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Oh, Roy...” Ed started, speaking slowly. He hated confessions. “I’ve been thinking about...”

“Joining?” the man finished, smirking. Yes, he was awake now, back to his normal, pain-in-the-ass self. He got up without waiting for an answer, rummaging through a drawer to toss a chain necklace over to the boy. “Yours now,” he said simply, returning to his seat.

The blond caught them, staring at the light metal. Dogtags. Of course, they were military, they’d have these.

“Fullmetal...That’s the codename I assigned you. Normally, we all pick our own, but I figured you’d like that just as well.”

“Hmph.” No real reaction from Edward -- he was too busy looking at each of the three tags. The first was simple, reading “Edward Elric - Fullmetal”. He moved on. “Fullmetal, under the command of Predator, under the command of Flame Stallion” Codenames, obviously. Flame Stallion...that sounded like something Roy would pick up. Fire alchemy. Mustang. Made sense...But he had no idea who this ‘Predator’ was. Hopefully he was more sensible than Roy. The third...

“Dammit, Roy! I am NOT YOUR PROPERTY!” he growled, throwing his own coffee cup at the man angrily, on the verge of assaulting him.

The third tag: “Edward Elric - Property of Roy Mustang”

Quote of the day:
"Ah, Little Brother! The men inside are friends and comrades, they're just Saiyan!"

"Every Saiyan I've ever met in my life has tried to kill me, Radditz."

"Well, you're not alive, are you?"


Quote of the week:
Doctor Hojo had a lab, e-i-e-i-o.
1. And in this lab he had Jenova, e-i-e-i-o.
With a murder here and sabotage there,
Here a death, there a Clone,
Eventually the lab goes boom…
Doctor Hojo had a lab, e-i-e-i-o…

Hairdryers can be plugged into the snow because they run on happiness